Simplicity.
A path:
A motorcycle:
A gear, or perhaps two:
What extra do you want?*
*[In my case you also need like eight other bikes, but I’m going to keep acting all self-righteous about my phony commitment to simplicity anyway.]
Effectively, it seems you want so much. I not too long ago joked about “needing a dropper publish in your dropper publish’s dropper publish,” however little did I understand how shut we have been, for a reader has alerted me to the existence of this:
It’s known as the SwitchGrade, and it’ll “unlock the total potential of your dropper seatpost:”
How does it do that? By letting you alter your saddle angle relying on the terrain. Right here’s a rider in abject distress as a result of he couldn’t angle his saddle down earlier than the large climb:
See how the nostril of his saddle goes proper up his ass because of this?
Ouch!
Now right here’s a rider who may optimize his saddle angle because of the miracle of SwitchGrade:
It nonetheless goes up his ass, however as a substitute of violating him roughly it gently massages his prostate:
Ahhh, that’s higher.
Simply ask Josh Harris, mountain biker and physician of proctology:
Hey, I’m not anti-tech or anti-capitalism. Fairly the alternative–we’re very lucky to stay in a society wherein folks have the posh of buying a $255 seatpost head:
Certainly, whether or not it’s bike elements, or prostate massagers, or just about any luxurious merchandise you may consider, the array of what’s accessible to us immediately on the push of a digital button is actually dazzling, and a reminder that we’re much better off than any people who’ve come earlier than us.
[Intern: insert affiliate link for prostate massager above, no pun intended.]
However, philosophically talking, I have to query what it’s precisely we’re doing right here. How a lot of the bike has to maneuver, precisely? At what level do you cease adapting the bike to swimsuit the terrain and easily settle for it for what it’s? And at what level does this contraptions stop to be a motorcycle? First the bike was too inflexible, and we made it so the entrance wheel may go up and down. Then that made us notice that the again wheel didn’t go up and down too, so we solved that too. Subsequent got here the seat, which we arrange so it may telescope. (Sure, I’m willfully omitting the Hite Ceremony right here.) However what good is that for those who can’t additionally change your saddle angle? This in flip will solely make it essential to invent a tool that permits on-the-fly handlebar angle adjustment, and width adjustment, and finally you’ll even be capable of change your tire strain when you’re driving. (Oh wait, that’s already a factor.) And that’s not even addressing motors! I nightmares in regards to the types of battery-powered articulating monstrosities our descendants will in the future be driving.
I consider that, as a species, humanity ought to by no means resign itself to its destiny. We must always proceed to evolve and to innovate. Certainly, our innate urge to push and to discover and to transcend is the very essence of what it means to be human, and we must always at all times attempt to defy our limitations.
Nonetheless, I additionally consider that as cyclists we must always do the precise reverse. For chrissakes, simply suck it up! Generally the path’s too bumpy. Generally the climb’s too exhausting. Generally your saddle place isn’t totally optimum. How completely free from any type of problem or adversity or minor inconvenience does your goddamn experience need to be?!?
Or wonderful, simply get the seatpost thingy, no matter works for you.
When the Sun Sets, Your Bike Light Takes the Lead 
