I confess that every now and then I get up in the course of the evening drenched in a chilly sweat with one thought racing via my thoughts:
“What occurs if corporations cease making dumb bike stuff we are able to snicker at?”
Properly fortunately human folly seems to be an inexhaustible useful resource, for a reader (thanks, reader!) has simply alerted me to the existence of the RAF Pioneering Bike Backpack:
By the best way, RAF stands for “Ram Air Fairing,” not “Royal Air Drive:”
Right here’s how the RAF Pioneering Bike Backpack works:
Principally what occurs is you’re driving along with your greatest bro, however you may’t sustain with him:
It is because he’s leveraged the unimaginable drag-reducing advantages of the RAF Pioneering Bike Backpack, which immediately transforms him right into a creature resembling a man-o’-war jellyfish:
Smugly he gloats as he sails away from you on a wave of aerodynamic superiority:
Once you lastly meet up with him as a result of he’s stopped to take a drink from his water bottle (he can’t drink and trip on the similar time), you breathlessly implore: “I can’t sustain. I assumed we had been going for a trip collectively. Why can’t we simply each not put on the bro-bag so we are able to speak about chicks and sports activities?” Sadly, his greatest bro’s look says all of it:
“Yeah, sorry bro, that is what we’re doing now. Bag up or pack out.”
So now you’ve bought a serious determination to make. Do you keep your dignity, or do you strap a freaking tall kitchen rubbish bag to your again like an fool?
“OK, I’ll be a part of you in dorkdom,” you determine:
You look understandably involved as you cross the Rubicon of Fredness:
You can also’t cease interested by that scene in “Trainspotting” the place Tommy decides he desires to attempt heroin:
Behind your thoughts you might have a nasty feeling that you simply’re going to wind up lifeless in a pile of cat feces, however within the meantime no less than you and your greatest bro can bump fists:
And collectively you fly the place eagles dare:
Talking of flying, the founding father of the corporate is seemingly knowledgeable paraglider (how is that even a factor?), so I see no purpose this contraption shouldn’t additionally incorporate a parachute or wingsuit so you may trip proper off a cliff:
Regardless, the Man-O’-Conflict Mighty Hump Of Aerodynamic Dorkitude apparently minimizes wind resistance by 19.6%:
In the meantime the Trek Y-Foil saves you a whopping 34%:
Is driving a standard bike whereas carrying an equipment that appears like one thing a lizard may deploy so as to entice a mate actually a extra enticing proposition than driving a motorcycle that appears like a wind tunnel-sculpted hunk of cheddar cheese?
Perhaps I ought to order one in every of these Pace Humps for myself and take a look at it with the Y-Foil. I wager I’d arrive again house earlier than I even left!
For now although, aerodynamics are just about the very last thing on my thoughts:
Although I’ll drop into the occasional aero tuck:
I may most likely save just a few extra seconds by carrying an appropriately rustic Rivendell-inspired burlap skinsuit:
Simply want to complete off these potatoes first.
